EviL
I was singing along with Sade, “.. you think I’d leave your side baby .. you know me better than that .. “. When Other Face spoke up:
‘ Heck yeah, I’d leave ur ass any day “baby”!’. She was speaking to no one man in particular & that was evilly cool!
‘You know’ I said, ‘Despite all appearances .. You are an evil person!’
‘To be evil, u need to hate!’ Little One said.
‘Why not?’ said Other Face. ‘You hate! You just think you don’t. It’s Rabab’s paradigm. You’ve explored that white shore of yin yang until it’s patterns became engraved all over you. But there’s still that something else.. there’s still that black dot .. & the black shore that calls to me sometimes ... ‘
‘It does call to me’ I agreed. ‘So why not! I’ll embrace this evil & see where it goes .. Maybe then I will see the whole & understand!’
At that, little one freaked out, ‘Do u think this is wise?! You know you are easily enticed, you will loose your way again!’
‘Nope,’ Other Face & I said ‘not this time‘.
We both started smiling with an evil twinkle. Even Little One had to agree it sounded tempting, tentatively joining in our evil group smile.
And so, I've decided to explore evil.
Unless this is another Kuku Peach day, my coming posts might contain a little eeeViL ;)
*Yin Yang*
Good & Bad
Good & Bad
Good & Bad
‘Who claims to understand both?’
Night Club
I just came back from a drive with my brother. We didn’t really mean to go towards Gulf Road & the attractions. But somehow while cruzing we found our selves going in that direction. It was very crowded. Cars of all colors, models & sizes littered the streets. The lights were almost blinding. I kept looking up at the moon that walked the sky along side us, a full moon! and tomorrow is the 25th! (Today by now). They say a full moon makes people act strange, just think how they’ll be tomorrow! I told my brother that & he laughed as an image of people in a maseera “parade” howling at the moon, crossed my mind. Then it started to get too crowded so we decided to bail out before it got worse or indeed, too weird.
So we took the high way instead. Listening to ‘ya om a7mad’ by Rabi3 el Asmar and shaking our shoulders to the beat, in our minds dancing the dabka. And then we switched to ‘Ticket to Goa’, that’s when I started to listen deep into the techno sounds putting myself in a semi trance. And as the drum bass shook me like it was coming from inside, the lights held their own parade. A camera flashing here, a truck with an orange blinking light there, light decorations all around, they all danced to the beat. Even the flags shook it left & right like there was no tomorrow. And where there were no blinking lights, I looked at the far away street lights shimmering behind the trees. It was all highly amusing & I got to thinking, what the hell are we complaining about here in Kuwait! Boredom shmordom, with the right tunes It’s a frigging night club! So Kuwait, yeah, it’s a night club out there, kil 3am o into bkher, stay safe & have fun. ;)
Senses
I sense an overflow around the bend ..
& so I tap into the well of my soul,
Reach deep within, try to make sense of it all.
I look inside,
& I see dragons .. In dragon days ..
I hear Sting, with his hoarse voice ..
Spinning a thousand webs,
A thousand more..
& in the background,
I sense ghost stories ..
Maidens in distress,
Lovers in bliss ..
And always the eye of the moon ..
A perfect iris ..
Staring down in silence ..
Silence,
Along the fine veins of rose dust petals ..
I slide to the center ..
Where I fluff the petals under my head,
Their fragrances invade my body,
& lull me to sleep.
Now it makes sense.
Tarot & I
A man called to me the other day, I don't know why ..
He had black hair & dark eyes. He beckoned smiling..
"But I am plagued with fright!" I thought, " I will not answer .."
& so I sought my cards for advice.
It turned out, he was a king this man ..
A king of the earth, a loyal friend, the cards said
"A friend!" I whispered,
"But I have the world on top of me,
I am earthbound and disappointed,
I do not see clearly!".
My throat clenched, this was going no where,
I turned to run ..
Only to find Karma staring into me!
"what have I done now!" I started,
"where is "wrong"! I do not understand".
Come now, Karma said, you reap what you sow.
& I give you a second chance
Of liberation.
For your spirit has grown.
With that she smiled and walked away..
I felt calm,
Karma had released me
I have paid my dues.
I looked back to see my past,
I saw bad luck & chaos.
I looked up ahead into my future,
& found that my bubble had burst,
I could see clearly again,
I have over come temptation,
I have eluded illusion & I am no longer captive.
The mystery is solved.
I started to smile & smile some more.
Then she came to me;The High Priestess,
Majestic in her opulence, humble in her grace,
A wise woman.
She took my hand & gently led me ..
To a grove of goddesses & dancing maidens.
She sat me down.. handed me a cup of wine,
And as I drank my fill & swayed to the maidens step,
My joy was obsolete.
When my thirst was quenched,
She turned & ran her slender fingers through my hair.
"Trust your intuition," she whispered,
"Your artistic gifts, & the forces that guide you"
"Go now!"
I stood to leave happy in my quest,
But as I turned, she called me ..
"Beware your cruelty," she said,
"For you are ultimately ..
The Fool".
She then disappeared.
It’s true I thought ..
I am the fool, missing the details!
I am the fool, trusting in abundance!
maybe hurting as I go..
I am the fool..
Ultimately the fool.
I ran back to my king, only to find that he had gone,
But I could only smile.
"You will come back," I though,
"You always do".
A Letter to Mr. Right
Dear Dream Lover,
For some reason unknown to me, since I was 15 I had a deep rooted belief that u would come for me once I turned 17! It was irrational and didn’t make sense, but I couldn’t shake it. But then 17 came and left and u didn’t come! It’s almost 11 years now since that innocent time, I’ve met scores of Mr.’s between then and now, but I never confused any of them with u. I almost sold my self short to marriage once. I’m almost about to do it again .. but it’s still not u. I try to kid myself .. but I know it’s not u.
Now I’m a couple of weeks shy of 28, and I have yet another irrational belief; That you will come when I am an older wiser woman. How old I do not know, but I know it is far from now. As irrational as it is, my belief has a basis this time; that we both need to grow some more before we are stable enough to hold each other steady. Because I know u heart & soul, I know the wildness of you, for it is also a part of me. The only missing factor is a face! And I can wait for that ;)
You see; you had to come when I was 17 so that we would grow together. Otherwise, you have to come when I’m older, so that we would be done growing & ready to embrace each other’s differences with love & understanding. Either way we are inseparable, even apart. I am not mad at u for not coming before & I do not want u to come now. I am not ready nor willing to receive you at this time. & I think it’s for the best that u would come later in my life. Don't worry! If I marry, I know it will not work out, but I’m willing to anyway cuz he’s special even if he’s not u. And by the time you show yourself to me, I know I will be free.
I hope you are well & good, better than me in any case ;)
Until we meet, I wish you love & a deep peace that can not be broken ..
I will not wish you happiness, I will save that for myself to give to you.
Yours,
With all the love my being can carry,
Dream
Beauty
All my life I have been obsessed with it!
Sometimes I even thought that I possessed it!
For in my heart ..
I see the dark beauty of an ancient Indian courtesan. Her gazelle eyes had the power to rob a man of his soul! The King of kings himself, trembled between the folds of her silky raven hair, like a fragile leaf! When he would come back from war, his feet would be washed by his high lady the queen herself. Who then drank the water that washed his feet, in thanks for his safe return. And then the happy loved king would retire. In his courtesans bed!
And in my soul ..
I see the startling wild beauty of a Viking mistress. With her clear sea blue eyes, and golden hair rivaling the rays of the sun! Wild and free in her roaming, passionate in her feeling & mocking in her supremacy! Only those she chose retired in her bed!
Oh but I know I am far from such beauty!
For I live in the modern day, where beauty is made with a surgeons skill and a stroke of coal and it is both the beauty of man and woman that catches the eye and meets approval. And at my core is an innocence I can’t shake, this innocence does not meet with today’s standards of beauty. Also, I contradict my beauty obsession with my belief that a woman is gentle. How can I posses the boldness of character to make a man shiver with a glance if I am shy and gentle! I guess I won’t. But it’s enough to know I have such beauty inside. I will only need to make one man shiver anyway & It will be love that shakes him, and my beauty that reaches out to steady him ;)
Needle Work
my first 2 scarfs and a kanvas I started forever ago and just finished ;)
