Peaches & Cream

On the crossroads of chance I came across a poor man with nearly naught to eat. I gave him what I could but not what he needs. He needed a skill, a trade, something to live & get by on. And in the world of computers & technology, he could only write his name .. fuck it, I can’t write, I’m too upset thinking of this man, I’m broken hearted over him & almost in tears. I would have cried if I had been alone, but I’m in an office with 3 other people, can’t set my tears free. I feel the need to cry for him, for his sallow cheeks & the hallow look in his pitless eyes, for his non existent belly!

And yet, his state was not what broke my heart most, his state is mendable, with a little effort & collaborate good will, a job is not impossible to find. What broke my heart & stirred my cool nerves into a shivering rage was the reaction of those closest to me, after asking a few colleagues; fellow workers who would otherwise be strangers, they gave me what generous advice they could, then I asked the two closest people to my heart for advice & to look and maybe, just maybe they’ll hear about a job here or there for this poor man. The reaction of the first was anger; I’m quitting smoking he said, & there are millions where he came from, why the hell didn’t he finish school! He wouldn’t be in this position if he had! Stop bothering me with these stupid things. This stupid thing I said, is a human being who happens to be starving & who happened to come to me, I can’t do anything about millions but I can certainly die for one who came to me in a coincidence not of my or his making but of the divine power that brings us all together! And how do u know what he went through, how he grew up or what his circumstances were to condemn him because of his literal ignorance, if you are learned then you should be grateful, not everybody gets the same chances in life!

The second of them gave me pretty much the same reaction but with more zest; anger again. Not because he’s quitting smoking this one, but because of more prejudice reasons; this guy is of this nationality, he said, you really believed him!! He’s a liar, a crook, they are all like that! Try to help him & your going to get in trouble with the law if he did anything, it’s you they’ll ask! Louder & louder his voice rose, labeling me stupid, ignorant, foolhardy & plain dumb! I didn’t give him much of an answer besides asking how the hell he can judge a man based on the prejudice reputation of a country without even knowing that man or even being aware that he exists!! If I had tried to answer beyond this point I would have screamed my head off in rage which I couldn’t very well do in a working place, so I just hung up & swallowed the shakes.

I have one more option left, a kindly old grandfather figure of a man who’s responsible for something or another in my department. If anyone could help, its gotta be him, if not. I’ll take him home & give him gardening chores!

To know that the world is full of cold indifferent hearts is sorrowing & to find out that two of the closest hearts to you are also cold .. I can’t describe how that feels! I am speechless …. Wordless …

PS: This post is dead serious, if anyone knows of any job openings for a simple minded worker (7aris, 3amil, farash .. whatever ..) I beseech you to let me know.

Well, one more turn around the sun, one more year of existence, another 360 (o kharda!) days to add to my score of experiencing mother earths pleasures & beauties & here I am back at march the 8th again ;) I’ve been celebrating for a week now, not that I meant to, it’s just I’ve been in a celebratory mood, no parties or any such thing, just good ol’ me, family & friends feeling good, healthy & singing; Amen, I, I’m Alive! As Chad Kroeger will tell u.

It has been a refreshingly fruitful year this last one! Full of goals being realized, dreams being fulfilled or reformed, more steps taken forward than back, I have nothing against taking a few steps back now & then, we all need to retrace our steps sometimes & admit we were wrong, but all in all, this has been a year in forward motion.

I’m dressed in red today, that wasn’t intentional either, woke up late really & grabbed the first thing I could think of with what little functioning parts of my brain that I was left with as my brain has a habit of freezing if I wake up late & am pressed for time, it simply stops! To the extent that I find myself standing still in the middle of my room for as long as 5 minutes because my brain can’t decide weather to wash, brush, dress or drink coffee first! So apparently, my subconscious is telling me Aappy Birday Keed & Av a good time! Cuz red looks quite good on me, and the first colleague to enter the office besides my boss actually said so! Hehe. Of course I don’t need to tell u that the red I’m dressed in is not a dress but a nice long sleeved shirt, it’s cuffs wide & long around the wrists & of course I don’t really need to tell u I’m wearing blue jeans to go with that either & .. Yes, I’m afraid it’s true .. my cap! U can bet on that one if I’m up late ;P

So anyway, what else, I think 29 will be a good year too! I think every year will be a good year actually! Because by the time I got here I found that I had learned a few things & picked up a few lessons & ideas along the way, for one, I’ve incorporated into my life the philosophy & outlook of a tourist, and why not! We are all here only to be gone tomorrow, so tourists of the earth really is what we actually are! When you look at the world this way, even the everyday mundanity of your life is transformed into something new & beautiful, exotic, something you get to see because you get to be there, doing that! And when u happen to be somewhere else, doing something else, well then you are also lucky because you got to be there, doing that! This outlook also allows you to be more understanding & tolerant of other peoples beliefs, customs & ways of life, because a tourist realizes just how vast this world is & how many races & directions we humans are spread out among. A tourists understand that he is but a drop in a sea of minds, hearts, souls & beings, and so this tourist is capable of understanding differences, of love & above all of acceptance. Needless to say that a tourist has more respectability towards nature & the beauty of God’s creations.

Also lets face it, how can u ever get bored if you’re a tourist fascinated by everything you see even in your own country even if you have seen it a million times before! This is the life man!! It doesn’t get much better than this my cards sometimes tell me & I love that I agree ;)

Another gift this past year has left with me is the realization of just how much power I have in me! A person may doubt or be haunted with insecurities & it happens all the time, but when u realize just how much power there is within you, you are more than able to ward off & even change those things that ripple your waves in the wrong direction. Let me give you an example; if you want something really bad, you can either, sulk, nag, bitch & moan about how you’re never gonna get it! Or, you could just smile & believe in your heart that it’s going to happen & that things will turn out just right. Weather you get what you asked for or not is irrelevant, your spirits are high, you are positive & blissful, so that you spread out positive, influencing energy that will help in attaining what you want, and that even if it didn’t happen, you are content & happy anyway because you are positive! Whereas in the first case you are spreading negativity & you will be piss angry & disappointed if it didn’t happen. Another example; someone says something that is offensive to you, you could a. feel angry, bitter, hurt! Or you could b. understand that this person might be having a bad day, that this person may not understand you so well & given the uniqueness of each individual that’s understandable, or that this person is just like that, that’s just the way he is, take it or leave it! These courses of action take strength, but not as much as you might think. All you really have to do is reach into a special place inside of you where you will find a perpetual well of power than never runs dry & the more you draw the more you fill up. This is real strength in my opinion, not power of muscle or even of mind, but that of conviction & acceptance.

There’s that word again; acceptance. I guess it’s a keyword this one, a common factor, a cornerstone! Acceptance ;)

Could I be more grateful!! I think I can & I think I will ;)