Death; End of the journey
A couple of days ago I was online & a friend I have not seen in a long time came on. We started chatting and catching up on each other when he gave me the news of death…Him: Remember flan.
Me: No I don’t. (being sarcastic)
Him: Flan obo Flana, u don’t remember him?
Me: of course I remember him silly, what about him?
Him: He died a week ago in a motorbike accident.
It was so unexpected. I have not seen, heard of or thought of this person is so long. I don’t know if this is what u call shock, but I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to tell my friend to stop kidding. Although I know people don’t kid about this sort of thing, but I kept wanting to tell him to stop anyway. When it finally sunk in, all I could think of was his daughters & all I could feel was anger. Flan has two little girls, how could he be so stupid!! How could he do this to them?!
After a while I forgot all about him or I thought I did. He kept jumping into my thoughts every now & then. Until last night while I was trying to sleep, he came into my mind full blast. I found myself remembering the way he looked & the way he laughed & the stupid arguments he kept getting us all into. Remembering the flesh & blood that are no more & trying to understand how this flame of life has been extinguished .. So suddenly!
He was my favorite driver because he would go the fastest. I loved his black hybosa, I loved to ride behind him & the faster he went the higher I felt, laughing gaily, hair flying & slapping my face like thin ropes. I remember how I used to stand up behind him & stretch my arms to the side for balance & then he would stand up too, lift his arms & hold my hands to show me that he was driving handless. This is no doubt stupid. But at the time it felt like passion, a passion for bikes, for speed, for having no limits & breaking free. And in the end, this passion killed him. Does this mean a man with a passion dies young? Does this mean I will die young? I have so many passions I can’t even begin to count. I tell myself I shouldn’t be thinking this way. That death is the end of our journey. We all will reach this end some day, this fellow human being just happened to reach his end before me. That’s all! And aren’t life & death two sides of one coin! Isn’t death the reverse of birth?!
And still, it’s hard to comprehend. Even thinking about it, analyzing it & writing about it brings me a feeling of guilt, because I know that somewhere not far from me is a woman crying over the warmth of a man who is lost to her forever & two little girls who might not understand. Thinking of his girls breaks my heart most.
Death makes sense, I know, & yet at the same time I feel it makes no sense at all!
Friends, if anyone knows … help me know. Death is still a stranger to me.
posted by Peach @ 8:41 AM
5 Comments:
Death never makes any sense, and life is precious, and that’s why we have to hold on to it with our teeth and at the same time accept death as a natural phenomena.
My condolences :(
This kind of sudden, unexpected death is certainly the hardest to live through for the deceased person's family & loved ones.
The devastating effects & the hurt can go on for years, especially when there is no plausible reason.
Certainly it is not a reason not to live your life to the fullest, because I do believe that when a person's time is up, he goes. But sometimes there are people who tempt fate a bit more than others.
Tantalize
I don’t think I’m afraid of dieing, I might even welcome it. It’s the death of loved ones that I fear.
Ayya
Thanks hon.
Jeff
That’s true, we don’t know what could have happened. Maybe ur right. Thanks for the hug sweetie *hugs bk*
Jewaira
But where do u draw the line between living ur life to the fullest & tempting fate?
I guess you can be your own best judge.
Sometimes when we are younger we believe that we are invincible. But you yourself mentioned how daring you were at times and you realize now the risks you have been taking.
By tempting fate I mean: Some people do get several chances, like 'warning signs', before something 'bad' happens to them. I have seen it so many times. Minor accidents or miraculous survivals or second chances.
Death also has a way of sobering us; nothing more sobering than going to the cemetery in Kuwait.
I hear you Jewaira, I hear you..
It's actually very calm in the cemetary, I like going there.
Maybe I need a sobering visit huh! ;)
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